Thursday, 19 March 2015

38 weeks pregnant - MISSING: Mummy’s Modesty. 7lb reward

A Birthing 'Plan' just seems against nature to me. In my opinion it feels similar to 'planning' how your house is going to burn down. Never the less, prior to my midwife appointment yesterday; braver, stronger, much fatter - I read through the questions again and stopped at a category called 'Options for Labour and Delivery' - next to it I scribbled nervously one thing and one thing only:

"Modesty is important to me and I would like it to be respected'.
It may surprise you that 'modesty' or dignity is still at the top of my list of priorities... But it is.

Talking of modesty... on Saturday I had a bra fitting as I decided I might need a 'Nursing Bra' (whatever this is) to go with my Nursing chair and scary looking 'Breast Pads'. I have been for a couple of bra fittings before in my life but prefer not to stand in front of a stranger in a bra - especially an ill fitting one (bra, not stranger). The lovely woman on Saturday asked me to strip down to my bra, before whipping out a tape measure and handing me a 'Nursing Bra' through the small gap in the door she said "Just give me a little call when you've got it on dear". I did as I was told and put on my new bra. Lovely.

When I was sure I was 'decent' and covered up in my new bra I called the lady in. "Oh Lovely!" she said, "Lovely fit". This wasn't as bad as I had thought it might be - my dignity, my modesty, was still intact and I had a nice new bra. I couldn't see the difference between this one and any other normal bra but I would buy it if they said I 'needed' it.

All was calm. All was well. All was 'dignified'. "Lovely," she said again and then, quick as a flash, pressed something on my shoulder, RELEASING MY BREAST LIKE THE UNVEILING OF A NEW PIECE OF ARTWORK TO AN EAGER AUDIENCE!

My colossal, swollen, naked, uncovered, exposed, pink breast just jiggled there, reverberating from the shock, like a Raspberry Fool - my jumbo nipple staring us both in the face, framed by two contrasting black straps on the top and bottom of it. This bra had trap doors! And there I stood, my modesty gone, with a non medically trained stranger. "That's what you do when you want to feeeed" she said cheerfully. Wonderful. Thank you. And thanks for the warning. She "left me to it" once more - although I wondered why as there was nothing not to see anymore. 

I bought two.

I am concerned though that there will be more indignity and exposure to come before the labour. I have already heard several whispers about 'Sweeps' - and I have a horrible feeling these are nothing to do with 'Sooty'...

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