Wednesday, 29 May 2013

The Pregnant Power of T'Internet

I moved T'up North this time last year and a few days later... found out I was pregnant. Instantly I found myself in the position of embarking on the scariest time of my life and being completely alone. My social circle was miles away. Other than my partner and one relative ... I knew no one! I was a stranger to the North and a stranger to pregnancy. Where I would usually spend my evenings with a good group of girls I had known for years ... I now only had my partner, and occasionally - my mother - to 'hang out with' and discuss what I was going through! T'Internet was suddenly my main focus. 

I worked for a while but found it difficult to make friends or accept invitations to end of term 'knees ups!' The only thing I wanted to do was put my feet up. I spent an inordinate amount of time on Facebook messaging my friends from my hometown and gaining support from a distance. I embarked on Twitter and obviously spent the majority of my time blogging! I found Mumsnet very useful every time I had any pregnancy worry and someone recommended Netmums to meet other mums. So I put a little advert out there calling for 'friends'. I got a few messages and added some people on Facebook and a few emails were exchanged. One email stood out. 

I received an email from a woman who seemed to be speaking my language - we had exactly the same worries and shared our anxiety over a number of emails. Our humour was similar, our positions were similar .. and we were expecting our children within a few days of each other. An email relationship ensued. 

Over months we emailed about our terror of childbirth, our anxiety of any pregnancy problems, our relationships, our baby's names to be, just general chit chat. We made each other laugh and we made each other feel better. We came close to meeting up but I cancelled at the last minute because I was having a hard time with my pregnancy and my isolation from friends. I felt as though I had lost the ability to socialise face to face and pregnancy had made me feel more insecure than I had ever been. She was understanding .. and we continued to email. 

Before we knew it D-Day was approaching. We counted down the days together.. increasingly anxious and excited! And suddenly we were both overdue! By a week, then two. Our emails became more and more frequent (well there was nothing else to do!) 
"Have you had it yet?" 
"Are you a mum yet?" 
"Did it hurt?" 

The answer always came back negative and we made a pact that if childbirth was as bad as we had been led to believe - we wouldn't tell each other until it was over! 

I was induced and a few days later, when I was capable, I emailed and told my Internet buddy I was a mum. 
Turns out she was a mum too. 
We both gave birth on the exact same day - 
and we both gave birth to little boys!! 

Last week, 3 months later, we finally met face to face. Brought together by Netmums, bonded together by our little boys having the same birthday. We sat and chatted as our little babies stared at each other puzzled  - and what did we chat about? 

Poop! Mostly Poop! 

The power of T'Internet - a wonderful tool for mums to be! 

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations, Stephanie - and what a beautiful little boy -
    I hope that your friendship flourishes -
    I'm sure your son will!
    And remember, just enjoy being a 'mum' - there's not really any right or wrong, just do what feels best and sometimes it will be, sometimes it won't - but you and your son will learn together.
    Good luck, Emma x.


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